When I was a newspaper reporter my editors yelled at me constantly for burying the lead. So here it is:

Our RAINN fundraiser has already exceeded its goal!!!!

 

As I write this, the total stands at $22,315! Most of those donations have been $10 often given by students or newly graduated young women and men still living on ramen noodles and bad coffee. One very generous donor contributed $5000 for the incentive of having me take her out to lunch.

We have five days left and countless souls to help. It has been so energizing to watch people talk openly about sexual assault, about the need to teach our kids consent, debate how to change rape culture and decide to change the world.

Time for you to join the party. We’ve been waiting for you! Give $10 to help sexual assault victims speak up and heal.

Fight rape with hope. Fight rape with RAINN.

 

As I write this we have nine days left in the Speak4RAINN fundraiser and roughly $7500 to raise in order to meet the goal… and help a lot of sexual assault victims. I would love to see us blast through the goal of $20,000 and help even more people.

The overwhelming response to the auctioning of a manuscript critique (up to a 300 pp mss) took everyone by surprise (winning bid was $3750!) so we decided to roll out more writing-related donation incentives.

If you are a writer and have been looking for a way to take the next step in your journey, this is for you!

If you love a writer and are looking for an amazing gift, this is for you!

If you are or love a reader who lives for all things book-related, this is definitely for you!!

 

AWESOME READER GIFT: Donate $500 and I will use your name (or the name of someone you know) in my new YA novel.  Perfect for the English teacher who is secretly proud of being Hairwoman or the graduating student who has made her/his parents incredibly proud.

AWESOME WRITER GIFT: Donate $1,000 and I’ll critique a portion of your manuscript and discuss it over Skype. I’ll look at 30 pages of your book AND THEN we’ll sit down to a cozy Skype chat, a long one, to talk about where you are with your work and figure out your next steps.

SECOND AWESOME WRITER/READER GIFT: Donate $1500 and I will join your writer’s group or book club via Skype. I’ve been a member of a critique group for my entire writing career and I know how important these meetings are. We can talk about inspiration, craft, the nuts and bolts of publishing, and/or how to balance your writer life with the rest of your life. With a book group, I’ll answer all questions, explain my inspiration and process if you like, and let you know what I’m working on now. You get everyone in your group to pitch in and we all have a great time!

ULTIMATE WRITER/READER GIFT: (Ask your wealthy aunt or grandfather to get this one for you.) Donate $5,000 and I will come to your town, take you out for breakfast or lunch and talk about writing and life. You can bring up to three friends, because a donation of that magnitude deserves a lot of love.

The goodies are my way of thanking you for helping sexual assault victims speak up, heal, and become survivors. There are a lot of horrible, tragic things happening in the world that we can’t do anything about. But we can do this. We can be the helpers.

Am I right??

(All of the legal-schmegal stuff can be found on the RAINN website. While the writer gifts are not tax-deductible as a charity because you’ll receive services in exchange for your donation,  they are probably deductible as a business expense if you file as an author. PLEASE NOTE! I have a linguistics (not accounting) degree and my taxes are done by a nice CPA named Pete, so you should consult with your own tax professional about this.)

After the Boston attack yesterday, I didn’t promote the Speak4RAINN campaign. I also turned down a speaking gig last night because the timing felt disrespectful.

This morning the world is back to business, it seems, except for those most directly affected. This is reality, I know. But it makes me sad. I’m stuck between the desire to stop and pay attention, mourn, pray, and the need to “Keep Calm and Carry On.”

Other countries have been dealing with things like this – sometimes daily – for years & years. We Americans are new at this. Uncertain. Unsettled.

I ran the Marine Carps Marathon in 2011. (My first of many, I hope.) Every time I woke up last night I was thinking about that race. There are so many parallels between marathon running & life, marathon running & writing.

At the Marine Corps Marathon, I learned a lot from watching the wounded vets who raced in wheelchairs. Their defiance affirms life at its very best; to live and to live energetically. Enthusiastically. To defy death and the death-bringers and the haters until our last breath. To celebrate for however many days and hours we are graced with.

Which is a long way of saying that I am pushing on to the next mile and the miles after that, and after that.

My job now is to raise money so sexual assault victims get the help & support they need. Plz donate $10 to http://rainn.org/speak

Thanks.

 

Remember the manuscript critique we were auctioning off last week to raise money for victims of sexual assault in the Speak4RAINN campaign? 

The winning bid was a whopping $3750!!!!

Thanks to everyone who bid and who spread the news about the auction!

We have 16 days left and need to raise about $11,000 more. So please tell everyone about:

The SPEAK creativity contest, fundraising in schools,  and the way to bring me in for a school visit.

That a $75 donation will make you feel great and earn you a signed copy of SPEAK.

And that $10 – less than the cost of a decent pizza – helps a victim of sexual assault get the help and support that she or he deserves. Plus, it will make you feel good. Rightfully so.

Thank you!

 

 

It is hard being a parent. Wicked hard. Exhausting, terrifying, mind-numbing, expensive, and occasionally soul-crushing. It is also a little bit more awesome than it is hard, which is why the human race did not die out several millennia ago.

Brace yourself. It just got harder.

I am looking at you, my fellow parents. It is time for us to put on our big-girl or big-boy pants and talk to each other and to our children about the meaning of sexual consent.

(Now you are scrunching up your nose and your tummy hurts. Bear with me. You made it through toilet training. You can do this.)

We must teach our sons and daughters the laws and our moral code about the kind of permission one is required to get and give before engaging in sexual activity. We must teach them the consequences of breaking those laws. They have to know that if someone hurts them, they can come to us for support and help and healing. And we have to teach them how to act if they are a bystander to a sexual assault.

Parenting is so much easier when the biggest problems are dirty diapers and lost blankies, isn’t it?

image from http://www.cafepress.com/mf/35174837/my-parents-are-exhausted_bodysuit

 

It’s hard to talk to kids about sex for most people, because their parents didn’t talk about it, or talked about it so awkwardly that it left scars for life. I’d probably be in the same boat, except that I wrote SPEAK and then spent a decade speaking about the book and sexual assault to more than a million high school students across the country.

Yesterday I spoke with Neal Conan on NPR’s “Talk of the Nation” show. (Which was a lifetime highlight for this NPR nerd!) The topic was “How Parents Talk To Children About Consent.”  Click on the link to listen to the show. The other woman on the show with me was Shannon Bradley-Colleary, who wrote a letter to her daughters telling about her own sexual assault.

The show was overwhelmed by callers and email from people wanting to talk about this. It’s time.

The shocking gang-rapes and subsequent viral cyberbullying of the sexual assault victims in Steubenville, Nova Scotia and Saratoga CA should be your wake-up call. Two of those three victims committed suicide. Not only were they repeatedly raped, but they were tormented and threatened online by their schoolmates, male and female.

(Please, please read this post by Rehtaeh Parson’s father. She was the victim in Nova Scotia.)

Our hearts go out to the victims and to their families, of course.

But we must do more. We must look in the mirror.

Those boys could have been our sons. The kids who did the cyberbullying could have been our kids. At the very least, the kids who stood by could have been our kids. And if you can’t face any of those realities, you must acknowledge this: our children interact daily with kids who did and who are capable of doing all of those sick, twisted, illegal things.

Suck it up, fellow parents, and talk to your kids about sexual assault and consent. A great way to start  is to make a donation to Speak4RAINN to help victims get the support they deserve. Show your kids your donation. Talk to them about what happened in Steubenville, Nova Scotia, and Sarasota, CA. Show your love for them by finding the courage to talk about the hard things.

You can do this.

Please share your thoughts and experiences below.

 

EDITED TO ADD – Part 2 of this post will compile suggestions for how to have this conversations.