Note to Mother Nature

Enough with the lightning bolts already.

There are many reasons I love living up here. In the Top Five is the weather. Hot but not unbearable in the summer (although the rest of this week looks icky), and delightfully cold in the winter. And snow. Lots of snow. Which I adore.

Things that we do NOT have here (or at least not as frequently or as intense as some places I could name): hurricanes, tsunamis, deadly droughts, killer floods (I live on a hill), earthquakes, tornadoes, plagues of locusts or frogs, anthrax outbreaks, bird flu (yet), collapsing tunnels, volcanic eruptions, avalanches, sinkholes, or impact events. At least not so far.

What we do have, in addition to snow, are thunderstorms. Which come complete with lightning, for no extra charge.

I hate lightning. Don’t ask why. It’s irrational. I just hate it. I am a lightning weenie. Freaks me all the way out. Always has. Always will.

So BH and I were sitting in the sunroom at the back of the house yesterday, chatting about various and sundry things. The first wave of thunderstorms were moving through. Rumble, rumble, crash, bang. I was pretending that all was the right with the world. He knows me well, and tried to get me to breathe, and unclutch the couch cushions, which were in danger of being shredded.

And then….

BA-BOOM!

a bolt of lightning exploded out of the meadow behind our house. I yelped, stuttered, pointed. It wasn’t bad enough that we almost just got nailed by lightning, but the meadow was on fire.

The good news is that where there is lightning, there is usually rain. The downpour that followed was heavy enough to put out the fire.

But, I mean, honestly….. was that completely necessary?

Today’s weather report looks better.

elves in my head

Woke up with a very strange picture book idea in my head… I had been dreaming about it. Was convinced it really existed, but an Amazon search turned up nothing.

Must ponder…

First time for everything

After the fireworks of yesterday and the day before, I will attempt something lame.

A quiz.

1. Grab the book nearest you, turn to page 18 and find line 4. Washington’s Spies, by Alexander Rose. “He was only to spy out Long Island and come home.”

2. Stretch out your left arm as far as you can. What can you touch? The sloping ceiling of my office.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? BBC News this morning.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is. 7:42 am

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 7:33 a.m.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Seven different kinds of birds singing and my husband moving around downstairs.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Came in last night from a Fourth of July party.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? Morning news blogs: Syracuse.com, NYTimes, cnn (have to make sure the world still exists).

9. What are you wearing? Grey hooded sweatshirt, green velvetish pants, socks.

10. Did you dream last night? Yep. Dreamed I was on a long trip across the Great Plains and I stopped at a restaurant and ordered a blueberry muffin and cheddar cheese.

11. When did you last laugh? When my husband tickled me after I finished my breakfast.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? Bulletin board, a couple of blown-up maps of New York City in 1776, and my straw summer hat.

13. Seen anything weird lately? Kim Jong Il…. that man has issues.

14. What do you think of this quiz? great up until this dumb question.

15. What is the last film you saw? Patton.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Hybrid car, flowers for garden, new fireplaces for the house. And the hot boots that I saw at the Renaissance Festival last year.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know. I have a really good nose…. in fact, I’m a super-smeller.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do? Wave a magic wand so that all people would suddenly be responsible about their fertility.

19. Do you like to dance? Oh, yeah.

20. George Bush: lied to us.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl. What do you call her? We called her Stephanie.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy. What do you call him? This is harder. Maybe Hercules. Or Thor.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad? Absolutely.

24. What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate? “Your grandparents are waiting in the kitchen.”

25. 3 people who must also do this quiz in their blog: Whoever is bored enough – leave us a link in the comments.

A woman who sees the world through very different glasses

This is a recent review of PROM on Amazon:

“I found this book to be MORALLY bankrupt! SHOCKING!!, June 20, 2006

Reviewer: Mothers4Morals “Mothers4Morals” (Cincinnati,Ohio) – See all my reviews
This book promotes everything that parents and teachers DO NOT want their teenagers to do!! The “heroine” of the novel disputes authority, sleeps with her boyfriend, gets drunk, stays out late on a school nights wandering around downtown, and then passes out condoms to everyone at her high school prom.

The cover photo would have one believe it is a sweet, off-beat prom story when it really isn’t. This is NOT a book I’d recommend for anyone; let alone middle school students. Some examples of this books disturbing content are: When Ashley’s boyfriend gives her a cell phone, they take off their clothes and go to bed to celebrate, and at the prom, a couple engages in oral sex behind the bleachers. I was shocked to find these things in a book recommended for our youth. This is not the type of morality and behavior I want to instill my children. I am so sorry I bought it! Truly a waste of good money.”

I love how she put the word Heroine in quotation marks.

You know what makes me sad? She and I probably agree on most things.

Neither one of us want to see kids engaging in dangerous sexual practices. (I am willing to admit, though, that by 12th grade, 60% of teenagers have had sex, and 34% of girls are pregnant at least once by the time they are 20 – hence the concept that passing out condoms to 18-year-olds might be a good idea.) We both wish kids could have healthy relationships with adults they respect and can learn from. We both love our kids and want to raise them with a strong sense of morality and dignity. M4M and I could have coffee, and hang out. Honest.

Where we differ (apparently) is how to deal with kids who aren’t in that position. One of the points in PROM is that Ashley’s unhealthy behaviors – the ones that freaked M4M out so much – are not working for her. Ashley isn’t happy. She has a rotten boyfriend, and no sense of who she is or where she is going. I wrote it that way because I know that is how some kids live. And over the courses of the book, Ashley CHANGES…. ahem, did you hear that M4M? SHE GROWS, MATURES, AND CHANGES.

I wonder if M4M has so little trust in her children that she is afraid if they read a book like PROM they will suddenly start copying all of the behaviors? If anything, her kids would probably say “wow – that’s a crappy way to live. I’m sure glad Ash figured out her stuff by the end of the book.”

What do you think about this?