No earthquakes up here on the tundra today, so I’ll write yesterday’s original blog idea.
The idea came from my right knee. The right knee that started acting up at mile 13 during yesterday’s run, and forced me to stop many, many times to stretch. (Because it’s not really my knee that is the issue. My right ITB has a tendency to tighten up, which pulls the knee a bit out of alignment.)
Yesterday’s run was supposed to be my first attempt at 20 miles as I continue with my training for my first marathon this fall. I was nervous. My husband couldn’t come with me. I got started later than I wanted. But mostly I was nervous because what kind of idiot thinks they can run 20 miles? Or 26.2? That is insane.
The knee pain I was fighting seemed the best confirmation of my worst fears; that I’m not really a runner, that I’ll never be a runner, that I was born without the talent or the knees to run serious distances, that I’ve been deluding myself all year, that people are laughing about me behind my back, that I’m wasting my time, energy, and money, that I should be sensible and stick to 5Ks.
When you are pain, the whispers of doubt start to shout. It happens to everyone who is trying to express themselves creatively. The discomfort and confusion of trying to figure out a first draft leads you to doubt yourself, then get angry and criticize yourself, then come up with a bogus reason to procrastinate.
I did not quit yesterday. I slowed down, stretched a lot, walked a bit, and kept going. By mile 18, I started singing. Because I was going to make it. Not fast, not pretty, but who cares? I was running farther than I had ever run before. The sun was shining, birds singing, and I was joyous. I ran 21 miles yesterday. I did not let the fear and pain conquer me. They ran alongside me for a while, but I found the courage to wave good-bye to them and go off on my own path.
Ready… Take a minute to dream your secret dream of artistic or athletic triumph.
Set… “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Today’s prompt: Write about a moment when you or your main character had to face a fear.
Scribble… Scribble… Scribble…