The book pirates have arrived.
What is a book pirate?
Someone who illegally downloads a book. It’s happening to me and lots of other authors. Same thing as the music industry.
NOT COOL, book pirates. NOT COOL AT ALL.
I can hear a few voices in the back of the room shouting, "But I can’t afford books! And it’s the publishers that get all the money anyway. Why do you care if I steal your book on the internet? Don’t you want me to read it?"
Dude. I know where you can read all the books you want – for free. It’s called "a library." Check it out. Free books! Amazing!
I am a full-time writer. All of my bills are paid for by the money I earn from my books. (I earn enough to get by, but am not rich, not by a long shot.) If you steal my book, I can’t buy groceries or take my dog to the vet. If this keeps up, I’ll have to quit writing, because I enjoy eating and my dog is a high-maintenance nutbag who needs to go to the vet constantly.
Aside from book pirating being lame and possibly forcing your favorite writers to stop writing, it is ILLEGAL. As in, cops and handcuffs and courtrooms and lawsuits that will force you or your family to sell the house. If I got to pick the punishment for book piraters, I would make them pull rocks from my back meadow so I could expand the vegetable garden this year. But I don’t get to choose. The publishers are the ones with the army of scary zombie-lawyers who want your flesh.
And trust me, they are hungry.
Book pirates beware. They are coming for you. They will sue you up, down, and sideways. Your grandmother will pretend she doesn’t know you because she doesn’t want them coming after her. And she will be ashamed of you because book pirates suck.
You want a free book? Go to the library.
You want your favorite authors to keep writing? Buy their books.
Any questions?