Life in the Country

….in which our intrepid authoress shares the joys and torments of living off the beaten path (one of an occasional series)….

So we had this tree. A maple tree. An old, old maple tree. It has a diameter of about five feet, circumference maybe twenty feet around. This tree was home to billions and billions of tree-eating insects. My Beloved Husband was going to call a guy we know to cut it down for us, because that’s what you do when big old trees are varmint-riddled.

Image hosted by TinyPic.com So the tree fell down a couple hours ago. Across the driveway. This meant our car was not going to get out of the driveway. Old dead trees are several tons heavier than they look.

What does one do in these situations, gentle reader?

Image hosted by TinyPic.com Fire up the chainsaw and call a friend with a pick-up truck.

What is the role of the intrepid authoress?

Image hosted by TinyPic.com Stay the heck out of the way, mostly. I picked up lots of bark. Tried to avoid poison ivy. I took pictures. I mused about the inevitability of rot and death, and renewed my loathing for most insects. (They crawled down my arms when I picked up wood.) And I said a prayer of gratitude that the tree did not fall on any people or cars, or at 5:30 tomorrow morning. The guys finished clearing the driveway just before sunset. It was exhausting work watching them. I am drained. I think I need to curl up in front of the fireplace, burning bug-free wood, and watch Monday Night football.

42 Replies to “Life in the Country”

  1. crazy! I rememeber when I used to live in Atlanta there was a storm and a tree fell on our roof! luckly there wasn’t much damage since it only hit the edge but it was still very creepy! Glad everythings ok

  2. crazy! I rememeber when I used to live in Atlanta there was a storm and a tree fell on our roof! luckly there wasn’t much damage since it only hit the edge but it was still very creepy! Glad everythings ok

  3. crazy! I rememeber when I used to live in Atlanta there was a storm and a tree fell on our roof! luckly there wasn’t much damage since it only hit the edge but it was still very creepy! Glad everythings ok

  4. I remember a story, I think I may have heard an author tell it at a conference, I’m just not sure…anyway.
    The man telling the story said that he was definitely not a handyman. Yet he felt the need, at least once a year, to don a plaid shirt with tool belt and use tools. He went to trim the tree and almost destroyed his house. So he had to call in the professionals. A red truck trundled down his drive and cut the tree up and hauled it, and all of the other debris away and charged him $500. Winter came and this man called a number in the paper for firewood…learning the lesson earlier in the year and chain saws were not his friend. The same red truck drove up his drive and delivered his cut up tree back to him and charged him $500. I think his point was to stick with your strengths, but I loved that story.
    Angela Fox

  5. I remember a story, I think I may have heard an author tell it at a conference, I’m just not sure…anyway.
    The man telling the story said that he was definitely not a handyman. Yet he felt the need, at least once a year, to don a plaid shirt with tool belt and use tools. He went to trim the tree and almost destroyed his house. So he had to call in the professionals. A red truck trundled down his drive and cut the tree up and hauled it, and all of the other debris away and charged him $500. Winter came and this man called a number in the paper for firewood…learning the lesson earlier in the year and chain saws were not his friend. The same red truck drove up his drive and delivered his cut up tree back to him and charged him $500. I think his point was to stick with your strengths, but I loved that story.
    Angela Fox

  6. I remember a story, I think I may have heard an author tell it at a conference, I’m just not sure…anyway.
    The man telling the story said that he was definitely not a handyman. Yet he felt the need, at least once a year, to don a plaid shirt with tool belt and use tools. He went to trim the tree and almost destroyed his house. So he had to call in the professionals. A red truck trundled down his drive and cut the tree up and hauled it, and all of the other debris away and charged him $500. Winter came and this man called a number in the paper for firewood…learning the lesson earlier in the year and chain saws were not his friend. The same red truck drove up his drive and delivered his cut up tree back to him and charged him $500. I think his point was to stick with your strengths, but I loved that story.
    Angela Fox

  7. My neighbors, who we don’t care for very much, left us a note in our mailbox and it said that we had to and I quote “clean up” our yard. We had no idea who these people were, because they had never properly introduced themselves to us. So anyway, we got something in the mail a while later and they took us to court to force us to cut down about 6 of our gigantic pine trees. My insane neighbor, who should be in a straight-jacket, was afraid that the trees would fall on her house. Note: the trees weren’t very close to her house. It cost us over a thousand dollars to get them down. This happened a while ago and my mother is still fuming.

  8. My neighbors, who we don’t care for very much, left us a note in our mailbox and it said that we had to and I quote “clean up” our yard. We had no idea who these people were, because they had never properly introduced themselves to us. So anyway, we got something in the mail a while later and they took us to court to force us to cut down about 6 of our gigantic pine trees. My insane neighbor, who should be in a straight-jacket, was afraid that the trees would fall on her house. Note: the trees weren’t very close to her house. It cost us over a thousand dollars to get them down. This happened a while ago and my mother is still fuming.

  9. My neighbors, who we don’t care for very much, left us a note in our mailbox and it said that we had to and I quote “clean up” our yard. We had no idea who these people were, because they had never properly introduced themselves to us. So anyway, we got something in the mail a while later and they took us to court to force us to cut down about 6 of our gigantic pine trees. My insane neighbor, who should be in a straight-jacket, was afraid that the trees would fall on her house. Note: the trees weren’t very close to her house. It cost us over a thousand dollars to get them down. This happened a while ago and my mother is still fuming.

  10. We had a tree that did this at our first house – only it fell after I left – and I couldn’t get back IN the driveway. Thank goodness it didn’t fall ON the car! (Yours or mine!)

  11. We had a tree that did this at our first house – only it fell after I left – and I couldn’t get back IN the driveway. Thank goodness it didn’t fall ON the car! (Yours or mine!)

  12. We had a tree that did this at our first house – only it fell after I left – and I couldn’t get back IN the driveway. Thank goodness it didn’t fall ON the car! (Yours or mine!)

  13. this reminds me of when Hurricane Fran went though NC when i was like…10? lots of trees in the roads. and plenty of days off from school to go out and explore with the neighborhood children 😀 good times!

  14. this reminds me of when Hurricane Fran went though NC when i was like…10? lots of trees in the roads. and plenty of days off from school to go out and explore with the neighborhood children 😀 good times!

  15. this reminds me of when Hurricane Fran went though NC when i was like…10? lots of trees in the roads. and plenty of days off from school to go out and explore with the neighborhood children 😀 good times!

  16. wow you make me laugh right when I need it the most.

    just though I’d comment because you’re silly butt decided to move back to NY the one year that it snows in PA first. How about them apples?

    Speaking of apples. They were amazing. We stole cheese from the cafe today and if I still had apples I would eat them at the same time(Triscuts too) in honor of you all up North.

    Hope NYC is fun. Love you!

  17. wow you make me laugh right when I need it the most.

    just though I’d comment because you’re silly butt decided to move back to NY the one year that it snows in PA first. How about them apples?

    Speaking of apples. They were amazing. We stole cheese from the cafe today and if I still had apples I would eat them at the same time(Triscuts too) in honor of you all up North.

    Hope NYC is fun. Love you!

  18. wow you make me laugh right when I need it the most.

    just though I’d comment because you’re silly butt decided to move back to NY the one year that it snows in PA first. How about them apples?

    Speaking of apples. They were amazing. We stole cheese from the cafe today and if I still had apples I would eat them at the same time(Triscuts too) in honor of you all up North.

    Hope NYC is fun. Love you!

  19. I could go for an apple pie right about now…

    In my little town in MA, wwe had a microburst. It basically just missed our house. The next morning as we rode the bus to school, morning light bouncing off steel, the roads around looked like a war zone-Trees spewing guts everywhere, twigs tumbling from oaks. It was very interesting to see the power of mother nature, and made me thankful.

  20. I could go for an apple pie right about now…

    In my little town in MA, wwe had a microburst. It basically just missed our house. The next morning as we rode the bus to school, morning light bouncing off steel, the roads around looked like a war zone-Trees spewing guts everywhere, twigs tumbling from oaks. It was very interesting to see the power of mother nature, and made me thankful.

  21. I could go for an apple pie right about now…

    In my little town in MA, wwe had a microburst. It basically just missed our house. The next morning as we rode the bus to school, morning light bouncing off steel, the roads around looked like a war zone-Trees spewing guts everywhere, twigs tumbling from oaks. It was very interesting to see the power of mother nature, and made me thankful.

  22. Bugs = Pure Evil.
    Which reminds me of my yellow jacket situation….I shudder.

    But I digress.
    Whenever I think of a chainsaw, I hear an evil laugh. Should I get help? =)

  23. Bugs = Pure Evil.
    Which reminds me of my yellow jacket situation….I shudder.

    But I digress.
    Whenever I think of a chainsaw, I hear an evil laugh. Should I get help? =)

        1. Chainsaws are actually nice as long as you stick your fingers in your ears because they are so loud. But they cut wood, and I love the smell of fresh-cut wood. They are also rather handy when large trees fling themselves across your driveway. Chain saw = love.

  24. Bugs = Pure Evil.
    Which reminds me of my yellow jacket situation….I shudder.

    But I digress.
    Whenever I think of a chainsaw, I hear an evil laugh. Should I get help? =)

  25. Chainsaws are actually nice as long as you stick your fingers in your ears because they are so loud. But they cut wood, and I love the smell of fresh-cut wood. They are also rather handy when large trees fling themselves across your driveway. Chain saw = love.

  26. Chainsaws are actually nice as long as you stick your fingers in your ears because they are so loud. But they cut wood, and I love the smell of fresh-cut wood. They are also rather handy when large trees fling themselves across your driveway. Chain saw = love.

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