one of those weeks when the tide is out

I have long used the expression “the tide is out” to describe those times when the dark stuff in life is stark and unavoidable. This week qualifies.

Early Sunday morning, my brother-in-law, Calvin Stevens Jr., died of a sudden heart attack. He was 45 years old. His son is on his way back from Iraq for the service. If you know my sister, Lisa, and you want to express your condolences, these details will help you.

And David Foster Wallace died last week and I can’t stop thinking about it. Many thanks to Sara Zarr for writing what I needed to read.

And a friend of my parents on died Tuesday night. While her death was neither sudden, nor tragic in the manner of Wallace’s, her death is a sad loss to her family and friends.

So, yeah. The tide is out.

edited to add Coleen Salley has died, too. Her friends will be holding a jazz funeral for her in New Orleans. That is how you summon the tide back to fullness with style.

32 Replies to “one of those weeks when the tide is out”

  1. If hugs from a stranger would help, consider yourself hugged.
    And “the tide is out” is a lovely expression.
    Many condolences to you and your family.

  2. Oh Palsy, my thoughts are with you and your entire family. I’ll try to drop something in the mail to Lisa in the next couple of days. Hugs to her and your folks. And a special hug to you.

  3. Sorry to hear about your brother-in-law, Laurie. Thanks, too, for posting Sara Zarr’s writings following the death of Robert Foster Wallace. My tide’s been out with several stresses lately, so that was just what I needed to read.

    xoxo
    Linda Oatman High

  4. Darkness settles on roofs and walls,
    But the sea, the sea in darkness calls;
    The little waves, with their soft, white hands
    Efface the footprints in the sands

  5. I have been thinking of Wallace as well. I suppose only he knew the demons that he must have been wrestling with.
    It’s so sad that in the end, they won.

    But to have a loved one just vanish from your life of a heart attack at such a young age just rips a huge hole into the soul.
    Sure, time can heal the wound, but the scar that remains
    will forever be a reminder of another unfinished life.

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathy to you and your family. In the midst of your pain, thank you for sharing both your words and those of Sara Z.

  7. I’m so sorry. I lost my uncle that way when he was about the same age and it was so very hard. I wish your sister and her children incredible strength.

    This seems to be the weekend of unexpected awful death. A tenth of my friends page is devoted to deaths of close friends, family or colleagues right now, in addition to the DFW tributes.

    My friends at Pitt are dealing with the sudden loss of Dr. Keiko McDonald over this past weekend. She was a Japanese film and culture scholar and drowned while fishing, her favorite hobby. The world seems really cruel right now.

  8. Coleen Salley

    It is indeed a sad time for booklovers and the childen of New Orleans. Coleen entertained everyone every moment of her life. As she lived her life so will we celebrate her life with a jazz funeral. Long live the Queen!

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