Diagnosis

Doc says I have the flu.

I suspect he’s right. I also suspect I have a touch of bubonic plague and more than a little yellow fever as well. I’m taking the medicine he ordered and trying hard not to groan too loudly.

More good news about TWISTED came in, but it hurts to type so I will tell you tomorrow. Assuming tomorrow comes.

Tell me something funny. Please. I’m begging.

26 Replies to “Diagnosis”

  1. Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

    One muffin turns to the other muffin and says…

    “Man, it’s hot in here.”

    The other muffin says:

    “HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!”

    Kitty is concerned for your welfare.
    Are you okay?!

  2. Nothing to say, but something to show (41 seconds). My husband and I were crying, we were laughing so hard:

  3. i like your tags, and i am so sorry. yik!

    you might like this.

    and here’s a joke from my dad: did you hear about the jewish ATM? you take out money, then go back when you need more and it says, “nu? so what did you do with the $60.00 i gave you last week?”

    ::rimshot::

  4. Student: But why do we have to learn the word tenacious? I mean, are we supposed to go out in the world and say to people ‘I was really tenacious, meaning I wouldn’t quit’?
    Teacher: But honey, you could just say ‘I was really tenacious’ and people will know exactly what you mean.
    Student: I mean people who aren’t in this class.
    [pause]
    Teacher: Other people know this word too.
    Student: Really?
    Teacher: I did not invent the word “tenacious.”
    Student: Oh.

    Okay, it’s only funny in the sense of “makes you really angry about the achievement gap.” But it’s all I’ve got this morning.

  5. This amused me, anyway– I mentioned that I might have the flu in my journal, and a representative from Roche (the drug company!) sent me a get well note in my LJ message box, complete with suggestions on getting a flu vaccine, and treating my flu with various antivirals. I like, seriously? You guys seriously troll LJ looking for people complaining of flu symptoms? That’s some hardcore direct marketing, right there!

  6. True story:

    We just paid $100 to have an electrician come out and fix our doorbell only to find out that we have a wireless doorbell and it just needed new batteries.

    Sigh. I wish I were kidding but I’m not.

  7. FL flu vs NY flu

    Hey cuz… I’ve got it too… something funny? Hummm.
    Here’s some irreverent minister humor for you-
    I was serving communion to a group of teens at a retreat, tearing off pieces of bread and handing them to each individual to dip in the cup. I stopped in front of a sweet girl and tore a piece that seemed quite large. She looked surprised and said, “Oh my God!” I replied, “Yes, the body of Christ.” We had trouble keeping the giggles down for the rest of the service.

  8. Funny, but sad: My folks sent me an email about the forthcoming income tax rebates due to the poor economy. It included exhortations not to spend the money on oil because then it goes to the Middle East, and not to spend it on clothing because then it goes to Thailand, and not to spend it on good cars because then it goes to Japan.

    The conclusion? Spend it on hookers and beer, both of which are American industries.

    Also funny (but sad): http://www.theonion.com/content/news/novelists_strike_fails_to_affect

  9. Anything on icanhascheezburger.com will make you laugh until you pee yourself. =P I’m currently on page…110 or so of funny pictures. xP Ahhh, good times! Hope you feel better soon.

  10. The first joke I learned…

    …from my Grandfather, which may explain a LOT.

    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

    He worked it out with a pencil.

    I hope you feel better,

    Jerry

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