Sooo…. yeah, you haven’t seen much of me lately. This post will explain why. I feel that so many of you are my friends, and you share the good and the not-so-good with friends, right?
Some of you know that the last 18 months have been a struggle for me. The doctor couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I was able to exercise*, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Even reading was a challenge. I tried and tried to write, but the pages I composed weren’t even worthy of the compost bin. There were other weird symptoms that I won’t bore you with. Bottom line? I was confused and tired and scared and sad. And sick.
Everything came to a head at the ALAN conference in Chicago last November. I hadn’t been feeling great that afternoon, but assumed I was picking up one of those conference viruses. All I had to do was to give the Monday keynote speech and then I could crawl off to my hotel room.
Two seconds into the speech I knew I was in trouble. The room started to close in on me and everything turned gray. I sat down, sipped water, and tried to keep going. Not. Possible. Gary Salver (who is a super-nice guy to have around when you are passing out in front of hundreds of teachers) helped me lie down. Other friendly people raised my legs, put a cloth on my head, and made those soft, worried noises you usually hear coming from the mouths of frowning grandmothers.
Laying down with my feet up made me feel better. Not good enough to dance, mind you, but good enough to try and finish my speech**. So I asked for the microphone and I gave the rest of my presentation on the floor. Because I am from the North Country and unless you are spurting blood from an artery up here, you get the job done before you pass out.
This is what it looked like. (If you watch the entire video you won’t see me (thank heavens!), but you will get to hear a small portion of my speech.)
I finished the speech. The very patient and generous audience clapped. I crawled to a sitting position and asked the audience not to tell my husband what had just transpired.
And then I crashed. Big Time.
I don’t remember much of the next few hours. They took me by ambulance to the ER at Mercy Hospital. The hospital report says I didn’t really have a blood pressure reading, but whatever the docs did fixed that. After a couple of hours of treatment, I was good enough to be released. (This meant that instead of feeling like I was dead, I was simply wishing that I would die.) Thanks to Scottie Bowditch, of Penguin, and lots of behind-the-scenes work by the good people at Macmillan and Simon & Schuster, I had a place to stay that night and was very well taken care of.
I didn’t make it home for another 48 hours. Even then, I wasn’t what you call “healthy.” Our Thanksgiving plans were cancelled and the day after Thanksgiving, I dragged myself to the doctor’s. There have been several consults and tests since then. Clearly I had a bout of food poisoning in Chicago. But there was something other than food poisoning at work.
The votes have now been tallied….and… ::pauses for drum roll…
The docs say I have Addison’s disease, also known as adrenal insufficiency, likely caused by an autoimmune attack.
Doesn’t that sound Victorian? I was hoping that it meant I had permission to wear hats like this
and gloves like this
But alas, this does not appear to be the case.
There is more good news than bad in this diagnosis. 1. This condition is slightly life-altering, but not life threatening, if I take my medicine and follow doctor’s orders. 2. That medicine TOTALLY makes me feel better. It replaces the chemicals that my body doesn’t make anymore, so there are few side effects. 3. The medicine is helping my brain work again. 4. There are very few things about my life that have to change as a result of this diagnosis.
It seems like I will still be able to travel and give speeches (standing up!), though my book tours will probably not be as intense as they’ve been in the past, and I’m not allowed to travel abroad without a companion. I can still run and swim and chop wood. In fact, the healthier and stronger I am, the better I’ll be able to cope with crisis situations, like the one that occurred in Chicago.
I’m going to be around for a long time, writing books, pestering my family, tweeting and blogging, racking up overdue library book fines, and eating superhuman amounts of popcorn for a very long time. But – BIG CONFESSION HERE – I am woefully behind on my next two books, ASHES and The YA That Shall Be Named Later. In fact, I can’t say for certain when they will be finished. (Soon, I hope!)
Can you forgive me?
I am back scribbling and having fun doing it. I won’t be blogging and tweeting quite as much as I was pre-Addison’s because I need that focus, energy, and time to go into the stories I’m working on. (Plus, two of our four kids are getting married in the next four months.) But don’t worry. I’m here. My characters are here. We’ve got enough wood to see us through this winter and spring will be here before you know it.
*Doctor’s explanation: all the running I’ve been doing helped me to survive both the Chicago collapse in 2011 and another collapse in 2010 that I won’t bore you with.
**Doctor’s explanation: my blood pressure was plummeting, but my adrenaline was cranked. As long as my feet were higher than my head, I was OK. When I tried to sit up, things got icky.
Newsletter
79 Comments
oh my goodness! you wear your hat and gloves all you want! you deserve it!
So glad the news is pretty good. Been missing your tweets and posts. Sending you excellent thoughts!
I’m sure I’m just one of many many many who are sincerely glad that you’re back and feeling better. Needless to say that we will forgive you most things (except perhaps eating all the popcorn without sharing).
Have fun with your writing and living and enjoying every moment of frivolity the New Year brings you.
Laurie, I am glad to hear that you are going to be just fine! I am a runner, too! There are so many benefits of pounding the pavement… this is good to hear. I had a stroke (pre-running life); eight years ago. So, running is good for what is happening inside us! I would hope that your fans would be thankful for your health and patient with your output of words! Take care of yourself and enjoy the weddings!!
Of COURSE we forgive you!! I am so glad you are okay!! That is all that matters!
I’m so glad to hear that it’s something treatable and your treatment is painless (more or less)! I think Addison’s was one of the possible diseases Jane Austen MIGHT have had…so you’re in good company, just a better century for medical treatment!
You and John F Kennedy. The endocrine system is a mysterious thing. I’m glad they’ve figured it out!
so glad you’re okay, laurie!! hugs and healthy wishes and book writings from california. <3
Sending prayers and healing thoughts to you. Be good to yourself and take care. I’m wringing my hands waiting for Ashes……but I know it will be worth it and expect more wonderful gifts from you. Be well and blessed
May all that wood keep you warm, Laurie, inside and out.
You do realize that you have entered the ALAN ranks of the “never to be forgotten” for soldiering on with that speech when you were ill, don’t you!? I’m sorry for the news and how you’ve been affected, but I imagine you’re rather relieved to have a diagnosis and a path forward. Godspeed with it all! We love you and we’ll be there to cheer you on with every step!
Your friend, Kim. (Adam says, Should he send you some oranges to carry around? Always good.)
How scary to be so ill without family with you. Applause and hugs to all those who saw to your needs and made you comfortable. I concur with Jessica in the post above. And if you find yourself writing in fancy hats and long gloves, post a picture.
I am so glad to hear 1) you have a diagnosis, 2) it is not life threatening, 3) you have maintained your sense of humor, and 4) that you are back on track. Your family, friends and fans would much rather have your books be delayed than never written at all.
In 2010 I had an illness that I was self diagnosing when I attended PLA in Portland, OR where it reached it’s peak resulting in surgery nine months later, which left me with a paralyzed vocal cord. I vowed to never self diagnose myself again and I threatened to sue myself for medical malpractice if I did
Wow, Laurie! Please take care of yourself! We miss you on Twitter, but obviously your health, family and writing process take precedence! I like the previous poster’s comment, too–wear all the gloves and hats you’d like.
Good grief, Laurie – what a dramatic ordeal! So glad you had people around you to get you help and that your doctors have figured out what it is and how to treat it. I know from personal experience that have a chronic illness can be very challenging, but it is manageable…and (again in my experience) you end up getting unexpected benefits as well (n that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stringer” vein). Please, please, please – take the best care of yourself that you can. We readers will be patient!
OMG!! So glad you are on the mend and feeling better. That had to be so scary. Looking forward to seeing you in the Poconos. (((hugs)))
I am so thankful that you have found the cause and treatment of your symptoms/illness. I was at the Chicago conference, and I have to tell you that you were a trooper. Your speech was entertaining, but we were very worried about you. I kept thinking…..”Yep! I would do that exact same thing if I were in that spot!” Keep feeling better!
Oh my goodness! All this must have happened after I directed you to the Scholastic booth. I was so sorry to hear about the episode, but I’m glad it’s relatively good news.
Stay strong, Laurie!
Do what makes you happy, Laurie. Life is too short. Thank you for trusting your readers. We’re with you.
I am so relieved to hear that you are doing okay, that your illness is treatable, and that the treatment is working so well. I am also glad to hear that you are back to writing. As a fellow writer, and a reader of several of your books, seeing you say that your pages “weren’t even worthy of the compost bin” took my breath away — what a devastating sentiment, and I’m sure it was a frustrating and frightening experience. Thank you for the update.
I think you would look stunning in those hats and gloves, and you absolutely should go for it.
I’m so happy to hear you finally got a diagnosis and that it’s so treatable. And don’t worry about us waiting for your books! We’ll still be here. We are more concerned with you! Take care of yourself and know we love you no matter how many books you write.
Laurie!! I am so glad you are feeling better!! I love your optimism! I can not wait to read your new books!
Glad you’re doing better, I can’t imagine how scary that must’ve been.
Laurie! Oh wow. I am so glad you’re better, that they were able to find a diagnosis, and that you’re going to be around for a long time.
Take all the time you need for your books. One of the reasons I love your work is that you don’t just spew out crap to make a deadline or something. You really work hard at your writing and it shows. So, no forgiveness necessary if your books come out later than expected. I’d rather have a healthy Laurie and late books than a sick Laurie and on time books.
Also, you should wear the hats and gloves!
*hugs*
Scary! But you carried on and said important things…..like usual. I’m happy that things are figured out and managed. You are amazing.
I was there for that speech. The whole time I was thinking, my God, Laurie is made of STEEL! I am so glad the problem is explicable and treatable and not the next tragic episode of House. Stay strong, Laurie!
I am so glad to read this post and you can count on my loyalty! I was one of the front row nerds at NCTE at the censorship panel. You take good care of yourself.
Even your blogs are amazing to read
So glad to hear u r ok & it’s something treatable! The body is amazing, life is amazing & we just never know what’s around the corner. But I know as long as u keep writing (along with others), I’ll keep reading, so take good care, write when u can, stay healthy & have 2 glorious weddings 
)))
Nobody walks the walk better than you do! Thanks for being such a great creative role model! I was inspired when I heard you speak at SCBWI this summer, and I continue to marvel at your strength. Take care of yourself!
So glad to hear you’re okay, but so, so sorry you went through that experience. ((Big hug!)) Get lots of rest so you can be strong for your next big events – the weddings.
Laurie, we love your writing, but we love you more. Take your time and listen to your body. It will all be there and like wine, it will be better with time. You have done so much for all of us. Please take some time for YOU. We will wait. You are already amazing. I glad it wasn’t anything worse and that someone was there to help you.
Many hugs and lots of blessings! Kathy
So so glad you are okay! I would wait forever for one of your books as long as you are still writing them! I hope 2012 is a great year for you!
I am so glad that your issue is managed with medication! I was not at NCTE, but of course, I saw your comments, and was concerned. Please take care. The books will come in perfect time. The universe has a way of arranging that. Enjoy your daughters’ weddings
I heard about what happened in Chicago and I’ve been so worried! Glad to know you are taking care of yourself. That is ALL that matters. The books will come when you (and they) are ready. Meanwhile your loyal fans will always be patiently waiting. Next time we are at ALAN together I am keeping a close eye on you!
Wow, Laurie ~ you are one strong and amazing woman. Stay strong, take care of yourself, and know that your readers will stick by you!
I am sorry to hear about your medical issues. I have insulin resistance and that has changed my life too, some in expected ways and others not so much. You have been an inspiration for my writing for years and I just wanted to say hi and send some positive energy your way.
Many blessings,
Dana
Thank you so much for sharing your news, your life, and your writing with us! You and your writing are both an inspiration. I’m so glad to hear there is a diagnosis, that there is a treatment, and that you’re doing so much better.
Sorry you had to go through all that but I’m glad you are feeling better and found out what was wrong. Phew.
Wow! Poor you! I know how frustrating it can be to feel so awful and not know what’s wrong. What a relief to you and your family that a treatable diagnosis was found and found in time. As for your stories, well…it would be hard to wait for one even if it was only a week away! However, good things come to those who wait, and what you write is SO good! Your books are always worth the wait. Feel better and know that we’re all in your corner!
Thank goodness you got your diagnosis! I’ve been through extreme fainting spells myself, and although the tests show I don’t have Addison’s, I know how scary all that can be. Congrats on finding such an excellent treatment.
Worry not about the books, we’ll wait. Enjoy feeling better and get through these weddings!
- Liz
Glad you’re feeling better, Laurie! The Chicago speech was impressive, even if you were lying flat on your back. We couldn’t believe how strong your voice was when you clearly felt awful. And I’m glad you got a diagnosis with meds that are helping.
Stay healthy and on those meds, Laurie! Sending you good vibes for a strong 2012.
Glad to hear you are on the mend and getting proper medical help.
So looking forward to ASHES.
Love and prayers!
Hoping that life feels even sweeter and richer to you now.
That sounds really scary, Laurie. I’m so glad to hear you have some answers and that things are getting under control. Feel free to wear whatever hat and gloves, or any accessories for that matter, that you want. Anything that will get Ashes done sooner I am willing to support; my students have just finished Chains and Forge and are salivating for more!
That is terrifying. Such good news that docs were able to pinpoint the issue and that it is treatable. We can wait for new books. Health and a modicum of sanity come first…
I’m GLAD you are okay! Wow!
I’m so happy to hear that you are well enough to write. Don’t worry about your fans we will wait for you next books! Take care of yourself and best wishes for the wonderful weddings that are coming your way! Please take care.
Oh Laurie! I’m so relieved. I’d noticed you’d been off the grid, but assumed you were writing intensely or touring. Really glad you’re okay. THAT is far more important than meeting deadlines. Congratulations on feeling better! –Liz
Eeep. So sorry to hear that you’ve been so ill, but very very glad that there’s a diagnosis now, and effective treatment. And really glad you’re back writing, too, and that you can still exercise and do the other things you love.
Holy Moses, Laurie! Glad to know they’ve got this figured out now. Love your north country stubbornness, and belief that you finish the job before you pass out. Well done! (A little crazy, maybe, but well done!)
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