Melting

Ack. It is officially hot here. I don’t do hot. Nor do I do humidity. I am the Ice Queen, fond of blizzards and lake effect snow.

Last night was horrific. The air was so sticky that I kept waking up convinced that critters were crawling on me.
Then a bat flew into the screen window TH-WACK!

BH and I lay there, in a pool of sweat, debating whether the bat was outside the house, trying to get in, or (much worse) inside our bedroom, trying to get out. As my husband drifted back to sleep I held my breath, listening for the flutter-flutter of bat wings. Because I knew, I just knew, that the bat was waiting for me to fall asleep so it could swoop down, nest in my hair, raise a brood of baby bats which would all latch their fangs into my neck and suck the life out of me. No, wait, they would almost suck the life out of me, but they would leave just enough so that I would become Undead. Then when the sun rose in the window directly across from my pillow, it would pin me to the sheets and fry me alive.

Don’t even try to tell me how silly this is. It was hot, I was tired, and I hallucinate at the drop of a hat (or bat) under stress.

Anyway, I woke up. I was not a pile of ashes. I was just sticky. No bats in the house. A few bats in my belfry. I keep checking the weather channel in vain search of a cold front that will rumble through here and save me from my fevered brain.

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In other news, Mom is doing great and my new sneakers make me run faster. Now I will go lay in front of the fan and whimper.

15 Replies to “Melting”

  1. In Tennessee

    A friend and I just got back from grocery shopping. At 2:30 pm the asphalt in my parking lot was boiling– Lovely, slick, domed bubbles.

    I am now inside, with the shades drawn and the air conditioner at 65. I too am whimpering.

  2. Count Dracula

    I feel your pain or should I say sweat! When the heat and humidity strike us here in CNY it can be a nasty experience. I have totally given up on making my hair look presentable. Does the name Bealltrix Lestrange mean anything to you…..that would be me!!! I feel and act like her too when the blanket of stickiness falls upon me. I become extremely cranky. Take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

    I hope that your Count Dracula does not make another appearance this evening since it is to be as beastly as the last. If he does, try not to think of the little critter as the blood sucking, rabies infected rat with wings that they have come to be known as and think of it as The Count from Sesame Street….One! HA HA HA HA….Two! HA HA HA HA…. Three! HA HA HA HA …….

    Stay cool!

  3. i hate heat and humidity just as much as you do (big surprise). in fact, i canceled a lunch date today because i just did not want to wade through the air.

    i think bats are cool but on the other hand they have never invaded my house.

    how about giving yourself an alcohol rub?

  4. window unit airconditioners are kinda expensive, but my parents finally cracked a couple summers back and bought a small one for each of the bedrooms. it makes such a difference, because sleeping is an important prerequisit for functioning. especially for menopausal mommy. so yeah. i would definately recomend the investment. of course you will soon find that you no longer see any of your family members, as you will all have moved your entire lives into your own personal airconditioned havens, but i still tend to think its worth it. thats my two cents.

      1. lol. i feel like it just stopped snowing. i hate the schizoid weather in this part of the country… cant decide whether it wants to be hot or cold, so it does some of both and almost none in between.

  5. It’s hot here too. Our asphalt is not boiling – hot but not bubbling. I dislike it too hot or too cold. 25C is perfect. 40C without the humidity is not perfect.

  6. Humidity is HORRIBLE!! Gah, it was so incredibly sticky here today that I wanted to cry, but I don’t think my tears could have broken through the moisture in the air.

    I’m moving to much drier conditions in three weeks. Yessss.

  7. I like summer for about the first month… then i am sick of the heat. I heart fall… so pretty. And a better time of the year for bats, be they in the house, in the woods or in your belfry.

  8. i like the “my new sneakers make me run faster” comment.
    it made me smile and reminded me of being twelve.
    i still think i could be underdog if i had the right cape.

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