Book Tour Day 8 Report, In Which The Author’s Hand Complains

What is a stock signing?
A. An opportunity for author to quickly drop by a bookstore and sign all of her books.
B. The above plus a chance for the author to run around the store and find all her books.
C. Both of the above plus the chance to meet all of the booksellers in the store who have joined the Game of Find-The-Books-I-Know-We-Ordered-Extra-Because-She-Was-Coming.
D. All of the above plus drinking a large cup of complimentary coffee at each stop.
E. And using the bathroom.
F. And enjoying a store-wide celebration when the books are found.
G. Then a record-setting speed-signing because 90% of the time allotted was spent in the Game.
OR H. A common feature on a book tour which frequently causes the Author to discover each and every ligament and tendon in her right hand and wrist.

We did four stores in two and a half hours. I don’t know how many books I signed. But I got my exercise, which was good because in my fantasy version of the book tour, I was working out in the hotel gym every morning and so far that has not happened, not even once.

When the dust had settled from the stock signing frenzy I studied the schedule and realized that we were headed for an event at 3:30 on a Tuesday afternoon. I had a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling. Teenagers are all busy at 3:30; practice, clubs, work, homework – OK, not with homework – but half of them are still on the bus, for crying out loud. And the teachers are still stuck behind their desks working on a million things. I figured that maybe four people would turn up and they would all be pre-published writers and I could hold a writing workshop.

Or I could sign stock.

“No” screamed the Hand. “Dear God, please!”

Image and video hosting by TinyPic I was wrong. 70 people, half of them teens, turned out. I do not know how this happened. I was just grateful for the opportunity to blab for an hour while I tried to massage some life into my right hand. (Thank you for coming out, Birmingham, MI!)

As we drove to Ann Arbor for the last event of the day, Ominous Signs developed. Heavy black clouds unfurled, lightning snapped, and the heavens unleashed their fury. The Hand did not care. The Hand was praying for a blizzard, a tornado, or a return of the dust bowl, anything to prevent more signing.

We arrived in Ann Arbor early enough to grab a bite to eat at a wonderful deli….. I forget the name exactly but it was something like Berry’s Bagels. I really wanted a bagel with a schmear, but I knew I was low on protein so I had a roast beef wrap stuffed with veggies.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic And I ordered a pop, because this is Michigan. (Notice the upper left hand corner of the menu.)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic The babies of Ann Arbor are lucky.

After picking the lettuce from my teeth, it was time to enter the word of Nicola’s Books. We hurried to avoid getting struck by lightning. The children’s and teens section in Nicola’s is huge.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic And it features paintings of my girl, Alice.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic And a throne.

The thunder and lightning and torrential downpours kept the crowd smallish, but those who made it were hardy souls indeed. Many of them were English teachers, who are the hardiest of hardy souls, and good-humored to boot. We had a blast.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic There were even a couple of soon-to-be English teachers who were so fired up to teach literature and find ways to help kids continue to love reading that there was actual smoke coming out of their heads. (Best of luck, David and moriath)

When everyone left, I signed more stock. The Hand was not amused. In fact, I am typing this left-handed. My left hand is aglow at all of the attention. This is the chance it has been waiting for all these years.

OK, that paragraph is out there, even for me. Time to pack and sleep.

TOMORROW’S SCHEDULE

Wake up. Airport shuttle. Plane. South. Missouri. Fetch suitcase. Car. Drive.

Morning and early afternoon – stock signings (shhh – don’t tell the Hand)

4:30 PM Signing at Piece of Mind Books
1530 Troy Rd.
Edwardsville, IL 62025
618-656-7277

7:00PM Signing at Buder Branch – St. Louis Public Library (open to public)
4401 Hampton Ave.
St. Louis, MO 63109
Contact: Patty Carlton

Sponsored by Left Bank Books
399 N. Euclid
St. Louis, MO 63108
314-367-6731

6 Replies to “Book Tour Day 8 Report, In Which The Author’s Hand Complains”

  1. I had a question about the stock signings:

    Are you only available to sign the book store copies and only meet with the booksellers, or are you also able to meet with the fans that come in?

    I was just curious because I would love to go to your stop in Austin, but I didn’t want to be a bother to the booksellers.

    Thanks!!

  2. My second-favourite part is C.

    &,

    No wonder your left hand is relishing the attention! The right hand is an attention whore and even has a title: The Hand. And it’s capitalized, for crying out loud! The left hand is like the middle child. It has been ignored all these years, stuck between its big brother: The Hand, and its little brother– The Favourite– the right foot.

    The sad thing is, soon The Hand will recover, and the left hand will once again be ignored. It will be so heart broken at suddenly being left out in the cold that it will be forced to resort to negative things to get your attention. It will allow itself to be slammed in the car door, or bitten by a passing squirrel. And you’ll pay attention to it then, won’t you? WON’T YOU?! And the hand will say “oh, she likes me when I’m sick!” And it will do it again. And again.

    It will be a vicious cycle that will never end. You’ll be forced to pay for left-hand therapy. I hope you’re happy!

    Love, Vikki.

    (Who is right handed).

  3. This Zoe from the Southfield library I finished Catalyst this morning it was very good. i loved it I’m so glad i brought it an had you sign it. later on Monday night my sister had to go to t he hospital (she ok just a virus) and she came back with a hospital band on her arm and the first thing that came to my mind was Mikey, Teri, and Kate. that one of the rare books that brought me to tears.

    YOU ROCK

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